As I look at these steps and see how they might apply to my life, I can't help but think of my mother. In 2004, our whole family sat at the bedside of my mother as she lay dying of breast cancer. She had told us 2 days earlier that she just wanted to go be with Jesus. She just wanted to go home to be with him. If anyone rejoiced in her suffering it was my mother. She already knew that what she was going through; the suffering, the perseverance; helped form her character and lead her one step closer to being with Jesus; her hope in this mess of a disease. I asked my mother once if she was afraid of dying and she told me that she was more afraid of leaving us behind because she didn't know how we would do without her. You see, she was already anticipating the goodness and greatness of God that would be found in her eternal rest. She wasn't afraid or even sad. I didn't understand it then. I was too busy being caught up in my grief.
Our family has had it's share of trials, just like any other family. As children, my sister and I have lost 2 siblings, a brother and a sister. In the last 10 years we have lost our mother and our father. For several years I had a 3 x 5 card with the word "WHY" written on it. But as I dig deeper into God's word and I stop to listen, truly listen, I am beginning to understand the sense of it all. Everything in life leads to the anticipation and crowning of God's goodness. I no longer feel the need to be afraid of the future. I am taking my turn, rolling the dice and following the steps that my precious God has giving me.
"Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10 NJKV
