Romans 5:3-4 Rejoice in our sufferings

When I was young, I used to spend a lot of time playing by myself.  Not that I didn't have any friends, I had plenty of friends, but I just liked being by myself sometimes.  During these times, I would get our a board game, like Monopoly, and pretend that there were 3 other people playing with me.  Each place around the board had a token to move and I would play each token like it was my very own.  Following the rules and never cheating, I always managed to win the game, even against myself.  I loved board games because they were so methodical.  You would roll the dice, move your token and then do what the board, chance or community chest told you what to do.  As I have grown into an adult and have tried to figure out why I am the way I am, one thing I noticed is that my personality prefers steps in accomplishing a task; not just winging it.  So, when I saw the bible verse for this week you can imagine my excitement because there are steps.  Step 1 = Rejoice in suffering, Step 2 = Suffering produces perseverance, Step 3 = Perseverance produces character and Step 4 = Character produces Hope.

As I look at these steps and see how they might apply to my life, I can't help but think of my mother.  In 2004, our whole family sat at the bedside of my mother as she lay dying of breast cancer.  She had told us 2 days earlier that she just wanted to go be with Jesus.  She just wanted to go home to be with him.  If anyone rejoiced in her suffering it was my mother.  She already knew that what she was going through; the suffering, the perseverance;  helped form her character and lead her one step closer to being with Jesus; her hope in this mess of a disease.  I asked my mother once if she was afraid of dying and she told me that she was more afraid of leaving us behind because she didn't know how we would do without her.  You see, she was already anticipating the goodness and greatness of God that would be found in her eternal rest.  She wasn't afraid or even sad.  I didn't understand it then.  I was too busy being caught up in my grief. 

Our family has had it's share of trials, just like any other family.  As children, my sister and I have lost 2 siblings, a brother and a sister.  In the last 10 years we have lost our mother and our father.  For several years I had a 3 x 5 card with the word "WHY" written on it.  But as I dig deeper into God's word and I stop to listen, truly listen, I am beginning to understand the sense of it all.  Everything in life leads to the anticipation and crowning of God's goodness.  I no longer feel the need to be afraid of the future.  I am taking my turn, rolling the dice and following the steps that my precious God has giving me.

     "Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life."  Revelation 2:10  NJKV